wanna do something with the life u have???

"I shall pass this way but once. Therefore, any good that I can do or any kindness that I can show, let me do it now, for I shall not pass this way again."

if u think children infected/affected by AIDS & got victimised by child trafficking are none of your business - think again! we were just more blessed than a lot of people. when you have walked the lives of these children - you'd know what i mean...as much as it had touched my life - i wish it'd do the same to you, if not more.

with the life that each of us have, DO SOMETHING! (next leg will be in Main Concourse, Penang Gurney Plaza - 12-14 August)

一二三，木头人

他人说：
一个人的天空很蓝，蓝得有些忧郁；一个人的日子很自由，自由得有些孤单；一个人的生活很轻松，轻松得有些无聊。

我说：
一个人的天空很蓝，蓝得很平静； 一个人的日子很自由，自由得很随性；一个人的生活很轻松，轻松得很自在。

但是这并不等于我不再渴望两个人生活的日子。回想我的本性并不是那么刚强独立，我觉得我也蛮有倾向依赖别人；尤其我的爱侣。现在凡事只能靠自己。有个人让我靠一下，我也无所谓。如果没有的话，也还好啦。。。又不是没有了谁活不下去。 life still goes on，舞照跳，马照跑。

一个人或两个人或一大群人 - 开心就好。 :)

f for friends

[... each of us needs someone with whom we can be completely open, someone with whom we can relax our heart. We need someone we trust and feel comfortable enough with to share the secrets, dreams, and hopes of our hearts, including matters of the soul. We need ... a confidant who cares enough for us and respects us so completely that we do not fear revealing to him or to her the deepest parts of who we are, even those aspects of our lives of which we might be embarrassed or ashamed: our failures and fears, struggles and ongoing temptations, even our sinfulness.We need someone with whom we are able to speak our soul, confident that they will not betray our trust.] (Becoming Friends - Paul J Wadell)



from young i have been an introvert. i don't make friends easily to the extent people will think i m arrogant, sarcastic & unfriendly. i m rather shy to make the first move. however, if a hand is extended to me, i won't hesistate to shake it. i can talk a lot in front of people who knows me well. for those who don't - i m simply cold & probably always in my own world. i guess sometimes in an effort of self-defence & not wanting to be hurt, i do close up my world.



over the years, friends come & go. i m happy that i have with me a group of friends who has stuck by me these years. they cared, they supported me, they were there.



most often than not, i think i m bad at making friends. i dunno how to make & retain friends.



today, i thought i 'almost' lost a friend. he told me he's upset - i didnt know whether he was serious or was just teasing me as usual. for about an hour or so, i was sitting at my desk, outwardly doing my work but inside my head & heart, our conversation kept replaying on the unseen screen. i was worried that i have upset him for good, & he has given up our friendship. i think in the end either he started to miss me or he has gotten over his upset (i dare not ask & run the risk of further provoke) - we are on talking terms again. phew!



anyway, that small drama this morning jolted me. i need my friends, cant live without them. just the same as they had been friends to me, i hope i am a good friend to them.

很久没人爱

一个人的天空很蓝，蓝得有些忧郁；

一个人的日子很自由，自由得有些孤单；

一个人的生活很轻松，轻松得有些无聊。

感情是什么？感情就是失落时的一句安慰，外出时的一句叮咛，回家时的一声问候，孤独时的一通电话。没有爱情，至少还有友情和亲情。

Don't play play...i m not a player.

yesterday, i was shocked - i didn't realise i gave some people the impression that i m a player. it shocked me, it saddens me, it jolted me awake & made me rethink & reflect.

why would someone who don't know me well had that impression? could it be something wrong with the way i carry & present myself? hmm...

extract of the conversation i had with the guy yesterday via MSN:

him: busy dating?

ch3ryl: nope.

him: why not?

ch3ryl: no bf, so no paktoh la.

him: hmmm...

ch3ryl: any good guys to intro?

him: me?

ch3ryl: huh? u do have a gf, right?

him: yes. i don't mind, if you don't.

ch3ryl: i mind. what makes you think i m a player?

him: you sound like you are bored of playing.

ch3ryl: well, you don't know me well.

him: you got played out before?

ch3ryl: you know my story right? (proceeded to tell my history...)

the point is i don't know how in the world he had that impression. i knew him, through a friend. & we have probably met twice over mamak...the last being at least 6 months or more ago.

maybe i shouldn't be bothered but i m just concerned. i don't want going around giving people the wrong impression without even realising it. yes, i agree - i m a very self concious person, very concerned abt what people will think of me; even though i appear to be i couldn't care less.

so i asked another friend about this.

he said i just have to be more careful dealing with guys. some guys will find any opportunity to play with my emotions & guys being guys, most will have ulterior motives.

well, i agree. all the while, i thought i m pretty protective and know how to defend for myself. i m strong. & tough. but perhaps not. i m also vulnerable at times. & i m naive in the sense that i don't usually doubt people's sincerity.

note to self: the world is not as simple & straightforward as you think so 好自为之！

persevere...

many times i feel like i can't go on any further, i feel like throwing in the towel, i feel like i m gonna faint... at times like these, i m reminded of the people who love me. my family, my friends - i can't give up because of them. i can't disappoint them & cause them to worry. my life is not perfect, the road i travelled is not wide & straight & scenic... but i m truly more blessed than i let myself think.

我永远在心里留了一个位给您

最近得知一位朋友的父亲患了癌症。昨天这位朋友在我面前哭了。她父亲不肯吃药，不肯吃饭，不肯去治疗。。。他要放弃。朋友很担心。

我就告诉她一小段故事。。。

当时我老爸也刚好知道自己患了癌症不久。除了这之外，他还有肺病，心脏也不好。他必须接受治疗。因为他身体状况不是很理想，医生没有把握替他做手术。我老爸当时的心情一定是很难过，又很惧怕，我们身为孩子也觉得很无助。

有一晚，我下班回到家已经9点多了。我母亲告诉我老爸“离家出走”了。那时我没有手提电话，所以她没有提早通知我。我连忙洗个澡就跑出去找我亲爱的老爸。我并不会担心他会出事，因为我了解他的脾性。他像个小孩，闹闹脾气而已。我就去了家附近那间的食物中心找他。为什么我会知道他在那里？我是他冰雪聪明的女儿，我当然猜到。

我就陪着他坐在那两个多小时。。。他喝了一杯咖啡，我喝了一杯薏米水。就这样两父女坐在那，没有说话。却心里知道对方的思路。他是害怕以后的路要如何走下去。我能做的是给他一份安慰和支持。虽然到最后，我老爸也抖不过病魔。。。但是他也是坚强去面对。到最后，他虽然只能睡在床上，走动不到，排便也要别人照顾，他还是我最亲爱的老爸。

我就对我朋友说最重要的是让她父亲知道她会一路支持他。有时候言语并不重要，他寻找和渴望的是一份安慰。

最后一张和他拍下的照片。老爸。。。我很想您。

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,'Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river.'

The little girl said, 'No, Dad. You hold my hand.'

'What's the difference?' asked the puzzled father.

'There's a big difference,' replied the little girl.

'If I hold your hand and something happens to me,chances are that I may let your hand go.But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.'

In any relationship,

the essence of trust is not in its bind,

but in its bond.

HELP!!! Mr F is addicted to me ...

he decided to visit me again, barely after a week he was gone. i think he's addicted to me. but i dun like him. he makes me tired & restless. makes me lose attention at work. makes me feel blur. makes me had sleepless nights. makes me uncomfortable. makes me sick.

Mr Flu Bug, it's better we part ways. please leave me alone... & while on your way out, please take Ms Cough de Phlegm together with you. both of u makes a perfect match, and i dun want to come between d 2 of u.