a saturday morning @ work

my Director came to town since Thursday,... usually when he is around, one can easily sense his presence (he is mostly not in KL, say 95% of the time). the air will somehow be different, u can just feel the tension mounting, breathe the anxiety emitted by my fellow colleagues...

i was called in to his office today, & as we stood there, leaning against the window pane (dont ask me why we didnt sit down & discuss - coz i also dont know - probably he just felt like it) going through some of the major deals the Company is in the midst of negotiating & studying some agreements... i felt just so small. intimidated. inferior. insecure. it again highlights the point of how little i know.

he is a knowledgeable man. he was the one who "offered" me the opportunity to do something different, from what i have been doing these 4 years with this Company. yet, this change of job portfolio sparked off a lot of "fireworks" in the office. some senior people got offended, feeling that i have jumped the queue. others felt with the change, i have messed up the whole system of how the department is being run.

well there was no increment or promotion on my part, something which i dont expect as well. mainly bcoz i m doing something totally new to me, i m just an amateur. but i was/am forced to learn fast. no time for me to begin from zero, i have to start at 100mph.

so, back to this morning's session with my Director. often i found i could just tell him a one-worded answer "Yes" or at most three "I dont know". sigh!

& also, often i find myself caught in between him & my CFO. both are big shots in the Company, both are more senior, but both have different views & styles. ahhh! the joy of office politics...

p/s: oh, did i forget to mention that my Director is still a bachelor at 50? single, available, filthy rich... an australian-born-chinese. hmmm.... no wonder each time i stepped out of his room i could just hear the 'gossips' going around the grapevines, especially when people know he wants me to go work with him in Jakarta (which i have declined politely three times to-date)