Thursday, December 28, 2006

purpose driven life

The Purpose Driven Life written by Rick Warren, of which i do have a copy tucked somewhere...
Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.
Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.
Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough & know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate!
Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Ms./ Mr. Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Ms/Mr. Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.
Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won, only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.
To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.
To make yourself happy, pursue your passions & be the best of what you can be.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.
Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.
Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.
Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.
Take care of yourself.
Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.
It isn't true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.
Live your dreams.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!
When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back.
Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give to someone is your time.
Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.
hmmm, since i havent yet make my new year resolution, mayB i finding the book is my new year resolution. :)

this may also mark my last blog entry for the year... so, to all my friends & readers out there: HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007!

Monday, December 25, 2006

an achievement!

over the christmas break, i learnt something new - i learnt to play the melody to theme song of the movie below. i hv no music background (save for those lessons they taught us in primary school during Pelajaran Muzik). i was sitting there in front of d piano, browsing through my nieces' songbooks, i saw the score for this song. i was tinking & tonking, chinking & clinking - calculating the lines & bars & the in-betweens, figuring out which taugeh is for which key on d piano ... i think it took me almost an hour but i did it!


i cant play w both hands, but at least i can play the melody. great! *beams*


听见冬天的离开
我在某年某月醒过来
我想我等我期待未来
却不能因此安排
阴天傍晚车窗外
未来有一个人在等待
向左向右向前看
爱要拐几个弯才来
我遇见谁会有怎样的对白
我等的人他在多远的未来
我听见风来自地铁和人海
我排著队拿著爱的号码牌
我往前飞飞过一片时间海
我们也曾在爱情里受伤害
我看著路梦的入口有点窄
我遇见你是最美丽的意外
总有一天我的谜底会解开


Friday, December 22, 2006

Life is like 一百個髮夾

你能找个理由难过,也一定能找到快乐 ,  
懂得放心的人找到轻松,  
懂得遗忘的人找到自由,  
懂得关怀的人找到朋友,  
天冷不是冷心寒才是寒,  
愿您的心都是暖暖的.......

saw this on my friend's blog - so i copied for your reading pleasure & reflection ... (& mine, too!).

国王有七个女儿,这七位美丽的公主是国王的骄傲。她们那一头乌黑亮丽的长发远近皆知,所以国王送给她们每人一百个漂亮的发夹。    

有一天早上,大公主醒来,一如往常地用发夹整理她的秀发,却发现少了一个发夹,于是她偷偷地到了二公主的房里,拿走了一个发夹。二公主发现少了一个发夹,便到三公主房里拿走一个发夹;三公主发现少了一个发夹,也偷偷地拿走四公主的一个发夹;四公主如法炮制拿走了五公主的发夹;五公主一样拿走六公主的发夹;六公主只好拿走七公主的发夹。于是,七公主的发夹只剩下九十九个。    

隔天,邻国英俊的王子忽然来到皇宫,他对国王说:“昨天我养的百灵鸟叼回了一个发夹,我想这一定是属于公主们的,而这也真是一种奇妙的缘分,不晓得是哪位公主掉了发夹?”  

公主们听到了这件事,都在心里想说:“是我掉的,是我掉的。”

可是头上明明完整的别着一百个发夹,所以都懊恼得很,却说不出。只有七公主走出来说:“我掉了一个发夹。”话

才说完,一头漂亮的长发因为少了一个发夹,全部披散了下来,王子不由得看呆了。  

故事的结局,想当然的是王子与公主从此一起过着幸福快乐的日子。    

为什么一有缺憾就拼命去补足?    

一百个发夹,就像是完美圆满的人生,少了一个发夹,这个圆满就有了缺憾;但正因缺憾,未来就有了无限的转机、无限的可能性,何尝不是一件值得高兴的事!    

人生不可免的缺憾,你怎样面对呢?

逃避不一定躲得过,面对不一定最难受 ;  

孤单不一定不快乐,得到不一定能长久 ;  

失去不一定不再有,转身不一定最软弱 ;  

别急着说别无选择,别以为世上只有对与错,  

许多事情的答案都不是只有一个,  

所以我们永远有路可以走。

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Magic of Christmas

Wishing all -


A wonderful Christmas & a great New Year.

I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.
~Charles Dickens


解脱

如果你是認真的想對我好:
1) 你不會像個瘋子一樣 - 失去所有理智﹐威脅我
2) 你會放開我﹐然後再追回我

你在此吵鬧﹐ 倒不如你好好的靜下來思考﹐ 反醒。

機會在你面前時 - 你不珍惜。 當牠流失了﹐ 你才說你要還回 - 是不是太晚了? 不是我絕情﹐ 但是我實在太累了。 我也是很傷。 我想找回我自己的幸福。 你也該釋放自己﹐去找你的幸福。 這樣對我們雙方都好。

Sunday, December 3, 2006

do you love me? 「你爱我吗?」

问世间-情为何物?
爱情是颗浓浓的奶糖,让人回味无穷
爱情是一杯酸酸的醋,让人常常觉酸
爱情是邪恶的罂粟花,让人刺目妖娆
爱情是杯香醇的咖啡,让人想要慢品


为什么女人总爱问她的男人「你爱我吗」这个问题?

缺乏安全感似乎是女人天生的恐惧。

电影《死亡魔法The Prestige〕中的女主角最爱问男主角这个问题,问了又问,总是不停的问,永不满足。

她说她知道当男主角回答她这个问题的时候,是真情还是敷衍。每一次她问这个问题,她总是在期待著他的回答,有时候她会很开心,因为她知道他说的是真话;但有时候她又会非常难过,因为她知道他在说谎,他并不爱她。但即使有时候当他告诉她,他很爱很爱她,而她又知道他是真心的,她仍会感到难过,因为她当时心里明白,他们之间的爱快要变成往事。当爱已经或是快要变成往事,此刻的一句「我很爱你」反而更加撩人心碎。

女人为什么总爱问男人「你爱我吗」?

其实女人想要的不是男人的一句「我爱你」,因为女人知道大部分有良心的男人,都会回答女人一句「我爱你」,因为男人知道这是女人最爱听的一句话,因为男人怕麻烦,因为男人知道简单的一句「我爱你」,代表在一段短时间内,他会有好日子过。为了有好日子过,为了耳根清静,为了无谓看见女人哭哭啼啼,简单地回答一句「我爱你」不就皆大欢喜了吗?

可惜男人并不知道,女人其实并不是从他的口中得到她想知道的答案。因为女人知道男人天生是说谎的高手,男人说的话并不可靠,因此每一次当她问男人「你爱我吗?」的时候,女人早已暗中布下天罗地网,全方位观察男人的反应,要从他的身体语言去从旁推敲,验证他说话的真伪。
在这个重要的时候,女人会怔怔地看着男人,认真地直视男人的眼睛,留意他脸上任何细微的表情变化。炽热的视线,紧紧地逼视著男人,完全不要让男人的灵魂有任何喘息的机会。唯有直视男人的眼睛,她才能看到一个她想要进入的世界,这个世界被男人所笼罩著,而如果幸运的话,在他的眼里她可能会看到闪烁著真正的温柔,男人眼神隐含的温柔往往更胜千言万语。

只是到头来女人为什么总爱问男人「你爱我吗」?

这其实是一个不重要的问题,答案是甚么,你心底确切明白。马家辉说:「许多时候,当我们要发问的时候,总是其实自己早已知道答案。许多问题也就等同于答案,当事人只是想向对方再确认一遍,透过提问的形式,因为假如直接说出,连自己都会觉得脸红」

爱情从来都不由人,他今天可以说爱你,明天也可以说我不再爱你。与其问男人「你爱我吗?」,女人其实应该问自己「我快乐吗?」。要知道他虽然爱你,郄不代表你一定会很快乐。唯有正视自己的感受,才能从爱情的困局中得到真正的解脱,重返心里的一片蔚蓝海岸。

女人,甚么时候你才学会不再苦苦纠缠于「你爱我吗?」这个问题?

Friday, December 1, 2006

look, snake in d house!

...but luckily not in my house. pretty near, tho'...

real case -
as i was stepping out of my condo this morning, heading to the car park - there was a SNAKE in d middle of the road. i was caught frozen by d roadside. scary!!!

it's not lying there sleeping, it held its head up high. i dunno d species, it's not really big... but size doesnt matter if it's poisonous.

luckily there were 2 gardeners around, one of them took a swing at it - & i dunno, whether d snake fainted or died. so, i quickly rush to d car park, got my car & left for work.

thank goodness i dont live on d ground floor... i dun think snakes can climb up to 12th Floor, can they? unless it takes the lift, then that's another story...

Thursday, November 30, 2006

快乐的人

真正的爱情不只是身体上,不只是讲浪漫气氛。
真正的爱情是接受,
接受以前的对方,现在的对方和将来的对方。
无论他以前是怎样,现在或将来是怎样。
快乐的人不一定要最好的,
快乐的人是把他所有的看成最好的。

uh-oh!

i feel kinda depressed now coz i made a huge mistake @ work.

i m handling funds transfer for my company - cross currencies, cross countries. i overlooked an instruction to my colleagues in Hong Kong - causing a delay of 5 days!!! the funds were supposed to reach my Indonesia office yesterday. as i was outstation yesterday, i only gotta know my grave mistake yesterday evening when my CFO sms-ed me in the evening. but i cant do anything yesterday. so, i had to check & rectify the error today. managed to get my HK peers to do the transfer today, but the other side will only receive the funds on Monday (due to the weekend).

worst case is my CFO knows about this as he is currently in the Indonesian office. & he was informed about it even before i realised my error... *gulp*

it's all sorted out now, but i just feel so sad. this kind of error should NEVER ever happen. it's not twenty cents - it's USD2m+. sigh! how can i be so careless. being too busy, bogged down by work are not reasons to commit this kind of mistake.

i hope my previous hard work & contribution can minimise the impact this error has on my career, my reputation, my superior's views of me.

wish i can turn back time...sigh!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

遗憾和后悔

遗憾和后悔你会选择什么呢?

有一件事,不做会遗憾,做了会后悔,你会如何?

有一个人,爱了会后悔,不爱会遗憾,你会爱吗?

似乎,选择就是这么一回事。岂止选择,人生也或是如此吧。

遗憾与后悔,横竖都得接受一个。

一是遗憾,一是后悔,无论如何,都得选一,

不爱他,会遗憾,遗憾自己没能成就一段爱情;
爱了他,会后悔,因为了无结局,

后悔自己冲动跳入,引火自焚,然后灼烧成伤,伤人伤己。

我总想投入爱情,本应是美好的向往,怎会落入似是两败俱伤的局面?

竟是去也不成,回也不成,两头都是缺憾。

究竟是哪里出了错?是贪心吗?还是狠心?

贪心想要两者得兼,结果最是伤人;狠心抛下一边,却是午夜梦回,总难成眠。

其实无权选择,但却必得承受事发的后果。

我想,这就是人生吧?!虽然有点无奈,有点怅然,但是燎解了,也就更能释怀了,
然后,安慰自己并且鼓励他人,还是要好好快乐的活。这也是人生。

不能给人了

我喜欢你,因为当我想说话时,你会耐心倾听
我喜欢你,因为当我不想说话时,你会安静等候
我喜欢你,因为当我快乐时,你不会让我哭
我喜欢你,因为当我难过时,你不会要我笑
再多的理由也比不过这一个
其实,我喜欢你,只是因为,我真的真的好喜欢你。。。



我的心 给了一个人。
可是 他把心丢在地上。
可能他不要吧。。。
我把心捡起来
怎么办 已经有点脏脏的了 沾上灰尘 ?
我好想哭哦。
脏脏的心只能自己收藏了。

不能给人了。

Monday, November 13, 2006

十二星座的love story

i read this story on the Net. found that it's quite true on the guys i had been with...
if u r a girl - read to see if it describes your other half
if u r a guy - read to see if it describes you
rather long article, so be prepared
她是一个有搜集癖的女人。她搜集什么?她搜集星座。
只要看到那种以星座为主题式的整套商品,她就会忍不住想要买一整组回家。
比方说---
小时候买邮购,看到里面有星座小卡、星座吊饰、发夹等等小玩意儿,她只要有钱,就买一整套;长大一点,外面在卖星座小年历,她也是一次买下甚至她很喜欢的一家饼店,也是因为里面的成套的东西,让她觉得很有整齐的感觉,如果其中少了哪一个,就会让她觉得十分缺憾,不完美。
她做过最有成就感的事,就是花了一整个月的时间,研究天文星谱,用大大小小的夜光小圆贴纸,在自己房间的整个天花板构筑出精细的她好喜欢这种宇宙式的睡眠法。
这样的搜集兴趣,并不会对别人造成什么困扰,然而她最令朋友诟病的,就是关于她与凡是认识一个男人,她第一个问题一定是:「你是什么星座的?」
她的第一个男人是白羊男
她被他那阳光大男孩的个性所吸引,他会带她去游乐园、去运动场,玩得比谁都起劲;她喜欢看他哈哈大笑的样子,好像只要待在他身边,就会不知不觉的传染到那股健康的活力气息。
分手事件
他会因为她出门化妆花太多时间而不耐烦的动怒;他会因为主管太晚答复他的企划案而回家乱发脾气;有一次朋友跟他说哪支股票最近行情看好,他就兴冲冲的,想也不想便一股脑的砸钱下去买,结果赔惨了。
她说他当初为什么不听她的劝告,先观察一阵子再说,搞的现在那些股票只能当壁纸,结果他恼羞成怒的与她大吵一架。
他生气的时候是无法用脑的,只会不断的大骂:「你一个女人是懂什么?给我滚!」
有了前鉴,她第二任男友便是个凡事慢慢来的金牛男
她喜欢他做事认真负责,个性稳重不会毛毛躁躁,而且十分有品味。
他们可以一起去逛家具、看园艺展;他会带她去吃美食,当他们一起在一家蓝调的咖啡厅喝咖啡,他对她解说着各种咖啡的不同美味时,那个样子真是充满艺术家的迷人气质。
分手事件
他会为了一些他个人的原则而使著牛脾气;甚至到最后是为了固执而固执。
有一次他因为车子的里程数快到了,而计划什么时候入厂定期保养,但是不知情的她却在那段时间开他的车南下又回来,不但耽误了入厂日期,也超过了太多的里程数,他因此大发脾气!她却认为只是里程数而已,多一点少一点又有什么关系呢?
他们因为他的死脑筋而沟通破裂。
第三任男友当然要找个好沟通的双子男
他脑筋灵活、点子多,跟他在一起总是有听不完的笑话,很是快乐;而且他兴趣广泛,她因为跟著他而见识学习到很多很多的东西,感觉很充实~他总是会出奇不意的给她许多可爱的小惊喜。
分手事件
他总会在不知不觉间对她分析很多事理,就连她在公司受了气,回来向他诉苦时,他居然开始整体评估是非对错,还说她之所以会因为这种事气恼,是因为她觉得这小子实在是太不懂女人了,她想要的只是希望他能跟她一起同仇敌慨,安慰她、鼓励她,或者跟她一起骂骂公司那些烂事,而不是反而被他说教。
她最后闹别扭的说:「我再也不会跟你讲任何心烦的事了!」
谁知他竟然说:「能这样是最好。」
分手后不久,她遇到一个心思细腻的巨蟹男
他非常的温柔体贴,不仅会倾听她的心事,还会充分支持她。
平常他也带给她很大的安全感,不管去哪里都会打电话向她报备;他喜欢跟她一起做一些很居家的事,像是一起去买菜,一起拖地、洗衣服,很小的琐事也充满甜蜜。
分手事件
他会像女人一样情绪起伏不定,喜欢藏心事、生闷气,让人摸不着他的想法;遇事总是采畏缩的保留态度,想要什么、不想要什么也都不会明确的说出来。
有次她逼著他对要不要搬家这件事做出个结论,因为他老是向她抱怨那些恶邻居,于是她劝他不如搬家,但他从头到尾就是皱著眉头,偏又不表态,她生气的说:「你要是个男人就快点给我搬!」

他被她这么一吼,居然哭了!?
第五个男人是狮子座的,比起上一任要英勇霸气多了。
当他在大家面前用最巨大的花束,公然对她示爱时,她就有一种被征服了的崇拜感;第一次跟他接吻还是他无预警的就突然压倒她,深情一吻。 她完全无法招架这样的热情。
分手事件
他总是习惯擅自替她决定很多事情,什么都他说了就算,让她感觉她好像是附属在他身边的花瓶而已。
以致于有一次她忍不住在朋友聚会中,趁他高谈阔论时,插嘴发表自己的意见,还顺便开玩笑的吐他槽,惹火了死爱面子的他。他骄傲的说:「你被甩了。」后来听说他很后悔,他只是一时气话,但又拉不下脸去挽回,从头到尾仍是坚持著他那莫明其妙的自尊心。
她改交了个最谦虚的处女男
他个性温和,不会意气用事;就算有什么不满,也是会好好讲道理,不会随便发飙。
做事谨慎仔细,爱干净;总是从小地方细心的渗入他的爱,像是知道她有经痛的毛病,就到处去收集关于经痛的治疗方法。

分手事件
他对于陌生的事物总是放不开,想得太多。

有次她邀他去参加她朋友办的隔天要出门前三小时,他就开始挑衣服、擦皮鞋,最后因为挑不出适合的领带,居然临时就说还是不要去好了。气得她说:「好啊!不要去算了!我们也就这么算了!」
她后来与大方的天秤男谈了恋爱。
他是当公关主任的,长得帅就不用多说了,与人的相处啊应对进退之类的,也是非常得体,很会讨人欢心。
他还是个很浪漫的情人,那些只有在电视上才看得到的美丽情节,他都会不吝惜的对她表现,让她的姊妹们羡慕得要命~

分手事件
也许是他的社交手腕太好,总是会有很多女人前扑后继的黏在他的周围团团转;那些什么干姊、干妹一个接一个出现,甚至他连干妈都比别人多好几个。她很不喜欢看到那些女人,她们老摆著一副随时都可以抢下她正宫之位的嘴脸。
要他不要再跟那些无谓的女人有所牵扯,他却又会优柔寡断的说:「大家都是朋友啊」后来,她无可避免的,被那些"都是朋友"的女人们给挤掉了。
她决定下一个男人一定要找个专情不二的,于是她看上天蝎男

他的一心一意的确让她充满被爱的感觉,彷佛这世界上再也找不到比他更爱她的人了。他对她所有的一切都感兴趣,他喜欢跟她做灵魂的深谈与交心,让她觉得他们好像前世就认识了一般的了解彼此。
有时光只是他那性感眼眸的凝视,就能让她悸动得几乎无法呼吸
分手事件
由于他知道她之前所有的情史,所以她有时聊天时,不经意提到过去的小事时,他很容易就会发醋劲,所以她常常在发誓她有多爱他,但他还是会不时的偷偷拿她的前男人们跟自己比较,尤其是在性能力这方面。
渐渐的,她觉得他的爱变成囚笼把她紧锁了,她想要自由;她不想要一个老是咬住她的过去不放的情人。
她悄悄离开他,跑到很远的地方去,在马来西亚与一个射手男发生异国之恋。
他的自由奔放让她重新张开翅膀,他的人生观是活在当下,他的爱情观就是两人都具有很大的空间。
于是她在这段旅行的期间,完全忘记了所有的烦恼,每天睁开眼睛就是期待著今天会跟他一起去哪里冒险?
分手事件
他以成为职业赛车手为目标,没有固定的职业,到处打工赚来的钱全花在改车上。
不只平时就喜欢「等你的伤完全痊愈了以后,我一定会离开你。也许你永远不会懂,女人是多么害怕过这种爱人随时会出事的日子。」
之后,魔羯男给了她无风无浪的安稳生活。

他脚踏实地,热爱工作,两人组成了标准的男主外女主内。他把钱交给她管,保险受益人填她的名字,晚上一定回家吃饭,他不会说什么甜言蜜语,但他给她的总是最实惠的爱与保障。
只要他紧紧的拥抱她,她就能从他的心跳声中听见幸福。
分手事件
没想到会在计划结婚的阶段出事。
她觉得那种传统结婚仪式真的很累人,两人因为结婚的细节起了不少冲突,像是要不要跟公婆住在一起的问题,就吵了一个月;而当他们在讨论新房规划,他提到婴儿房时,她表明她并不想生小孩,一句话就当场引爆原子弹。
他不只是长男,更是他们家族里的长孙,他说什么都无法接受顶客族模式。
双方皆不愿妥协的情况下,只有告吹了。
在下段感情开始时,她打探了对方对小孩的观念,水瓶男与她一拍即合。

他思想开放,什么样的新潮与前卫都吓不倒他,对于未来观与人与人之间的差异性都有宽广的智慧可以接受;他喜欢研究人们、喜欢知性的交流。充满创造力。
分手事件
他常常发呆。

她知道那表示他脑子里正有些念头产生,然后他会跃跃欲试的跟她描述著一些奇妙的想法,然后就去执行了,如果那时她刚好在的话;如果她刚好不在,他就直接出发了。
有一次他就这样突然消失。三个月后,满身风尘但神采奕奕的回来,她才知道他去了柬埔寨。
她很生气,警告他下次再这样,她就不能保证他再回来时,她的身边会不会换了别的男人。
后来他就有跟她说了,要去冰岛。但却一去就再也没消息回来。
两年后,她死了心,改与双鱼男交往。

他的多情感性让她知道,对他而言,情人比朋友重要、爱情比面包可贵。
在热恋时期他们就决定闪电结婚,在渡假胜地举办一场简单、但有如少女情怀般的欧洲式乡村婚礼,度蜜月的期间,他们每天做著像赤足在沙滩散步、在草地上睡午觉这类悠然的罗曼蒂克。
分手事件
婚后没多久,他所经营的公司倒了。
受到打击的他,一蹶不振竟开始自甘堕落,每天喝个烂醉,甚至被坏朋友带坏,染上赌博的恶习。起初他说想用赌博赢一点本金来重建事业,但却像着魔似的沉迷了。
他们从五天一小吵变成三天一大吵。
在一次激烈争执中,他失控甩了她一耳光后,她义无反顾的签下离婚协议书。即使他如何苦苦哀求,发誓他永不再犯。
离婚后的某一天夜里,她不知怎么的,竟梦到第一任男友,那个乐天的白羊男。
醒来后,她不禁感叹,如果是白羊的他的话,他一定不会这么轻易就被失意打败,他总是屡败屡战,永远不服输,再强大的难关挡在他面前,他也会毫不退却的跨越过去。
突然间,她这才发现自己绕了好大一个圈子又回来了。
再仔细把她觉得,其实严格说来,她自己不也挺自私的吗?因为她也没有为了任何一个男人去改变自己。只要一碰到问题,通常都是选择用分手做为解决的方法。
而且也在不知不觉中在心里刻下了偏见,什么星座一定是怎样怎样,不断在印证这个男人跟星座书里写的是不是一样她发现这样的话,根本就无法只是纯粹的去爱一个人。

现在,她又遇到了一个男人。
但她已经决定不去问他的星座是什么?试试谈一场没有预设立场的爱情吧。
当她的朋友问说:「你的他是什么座的?」

她会说:「肉做的。」

Sunday, November 12, 2006

相遇,不是用来生气的!

got this in my mailbox this morning... & coincidentally someone is mad @ me right now (i think...). oh, well - if u r the person i m talking about, then read this & dont stay angry @ me for too long, will ya?
每天搭乘公车上下班, 来回通勤时间约莫近二小时? 有时人少, 可坐在位置上欣赏窗外的风景; 人多时, 也只能慢慢地挤回家, 但这时, 身边乘客的对话总会不时地传到耳边。
前日往回家的公车上, 转程靠站时, 乘客顿时多了起来。
一对上班族男女恰巧在我身边, 吸引了我的目光。 可能因为人多, 男的不时地将手臂围住女的, 并轻声的问:「累不累? 待会想吃些什么?」
只见女的不耐烦地回答: 「我已经够烦了,吃什么都还不先决定, 每次都要问我。」
男的一脸无辜的低下头, 而后说了令我印象深刻的话。
「让你决定是因为希望能够陪你吃你喜欢的东西, 然后看到你满足的笑容, 把今天工作的不愉快暂时忘掉。 我的能力不足, 你工作上所受的委屈我没法帮你,
我所能做的也只有这样。」
女的听了后,满怀愧疚的说声对不起。
男的这才似乎重燃信心般说: 「没关系, 只要你开心就好。」 而后亲吻了女的头发。
下车前再回头看看这对情侣, 男的依旧保护著心爱的人。
这样的情景, 让我觉得自己今天同样在工作上有些许不愉快, 如果没有听到这一段对话,
回家后的我, 可能也是一副全世界都对不起我的臭脸, 面对心爱的人, 只在乎自己的委屈, 却忽视对方的感受, 不自觉地伤害最亲密的人。
所以在踏进家门时, 我告诉自己, 难道我要像公车上那位女孩一样忍心, 将自己的不满委屈带给身旁的人吗?
不, 我想我现在应该做的是别再把工作上的情绪, 发泄在心爱的人身上, 破坏了最亲密的关系, 并且主动给自己一个微笑。
相遇,不是用来生气的!
说得真好! 当自己快抓不住情绪时, 想想这句话, 应该会让烦忙的生活, 加些微笑的因子吧!!
有一位金代禅师非常喜爱兰花, 在平日弘法讲经, 花费了许多的时间栽种兰花。 有一天, 他要外出云游一段时间, 临行前交待弟子: 「要好好照顾寺里的兰花。」
在这段期间弟子们总是细心照顾兰花, 但有一天, 在浇水时却不小心将兰花架碰倒了, 所有的兰花盆都跌碎了, 兰花散了满地。 弟子们都因此非常恐慌, 打算等师父回来后, 向师父赔罪领罚。
金代禅师回来了, 闻知此事, 便召集弟子们, 不但没有责怪, 反而说道: 「我种兰花,
一来是希望用来供佛, 二来也是为了美化寺庙环境, 不是为了生气而种兰花的。」

金代禅师说得好: 「不是为了生气而种兰花的。」
而禅师之所以看得开, 是因为他虽然喜欢兰花, 但心中却无兰花这个碍。 因此, 兰花的得失, 并不影响他心中的喜怒。
同样地, 在日常生活中, 我们牵挂得太多, 我们太在意得失, 所以我们的情绪起伏, 我们不快乐。 在生气之际, 我们如能多想想:
「我不是为了生气而工作的。」
「我不是为了生气而教书的。」
「我不是为了生气而交朋友的。」
「我不是为了生气而作夫妻的。」
「我不是为了生气而生儿育女的。」

那么我们会为我们烦恼的心情辟出另一番安详。
所以看完之后 - 你要和朋友, 家人吵架时, 要记得你们的相遇不是用来生气的喔!
然而所谓人非圣贤... 谁能不生气呢!?
不过, 看了这篇文章以后, 下次要生气时就别生太久, 免得伤心、 伤肝、伤肾又伤肠胃!

Monday, November 6, 2006

kiss kiss kiss XOXO

柔情的吻让我醉倒
疯狂的吻让我沉伦
体贴的吻给我被呵护的感觉
霸道的吻给我被征服的感觉
笨拙的吻使我满心欢喜
熟练的吻使我身心愉悦
温柔的吻让我有被幸福拥抱的感觉
热烈的吻让我有被爱火燃烧的感觉
我爱所有的吻, 只因我爱那个吻我的人
我爱所有的吻, 只因那个吻我的人是你

Thursday, November 2, 2006

state of heart

我們的心。。。
如果能夠像原野、海洋、天空一樣開闊,
就能夠容下無限的東西,更能享受生命的自由
懂得以慈悲來處理問題,心裡就不會經常打結
不管處身在任何的狀況中,
都可以保持平靜、穩定、自主、自在的心境

Monday, October 30, 2006

what's new?

got myself another hair cut... from hair touching my waistline, it now barely touches my shoulder after 2 hair cuts in a month.

oh, well... hair cut is therapeutic... i'd say the next best alternative behind sex & shopping, lol.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

truths about love

Don't be too good I will miss you.
Don't be too caring, I might like you.
Don't be too sweet, I might fall for you.
It's hard for me to love you when you won't love me after all...
Bottomline: A person who makes me loves him/her is actually a person who loves me more than I love him/her.
If someone comes into your life and becomes a part of you but for some reasons he couldn't stay,don't cry too much...just be glad that your paths crossed and somehow he made you happy even for a while.
Bottomline: Time will tell, If he's yours he will come back.
Two tear drops were floating down the river. One teardrop said to the other, "I'm the teardrop of a girl who loved a man and lost him. Who are you?""I'm the teardrop of the man who regret letting a girl go..."
Bottomline: Nobody will sympathise a person who constantly let chances passes by without making any efforts to salvage. We normally don't realise how important our loved and closed ones are until they left us, we'll start to reminisce which results in misery.
Love can make you happy although often times it hurts. But love is only special if you give it to which it's worth.
Bottomline: If you found someone who truly appreciates you, He/she deserves more of your love.
What if someone tells you this: I don't believe in courtship. It's just a waste of time. If I love the person, I'll tell her right away. But for you I will make an exception... just love me now and I'll court you forever...
Bottomline: Love needs time to realise, there might be love at first sight but it takes time to let one gradually discover their affection towards another, miss him/her when he/she is not around, hope to hear from he/she when the person has not written or called.
It's always better to have found the courage to love even if you lose it in the end rather than never found love because you were too afraid of the challenge.
Bottomline: Don't give up if you face or think that you have competitors. It's always better to try, if you succeed, the reward is more than you can expect. But if you don't try or don't summon up the courage, you might lose the one you like/love forever...
The greatest challenge in our life is to find someone who knows our flaws and differences and yet still willingly embraces you with so much love.
Bottomline: Love is a means of self giving and self sacrificsing, if he/she knows your flaws and is still willing to accept you, continue to like/love you as you are or even more, boy, you are lucky! This person truly deserves your love and affection.

The spaces between our fingers were created so that another person's fingers could fill them in.
Bottomline: Open your heart, let people love you, never doubt their intentions, sincerity can be felt by the heart.
When you love, it is not for you to be understood but for you To understand; not for you to take but for you to be taken; to listen not to dictate; to sacrifice and not to demand; not to count or measure but to love.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

做个好人

经典! 做个好人其实就那么简单...
1. 看见人家墙要倒,如果不能扶,那么不推也是一种善良。
2. 看见别人喝粥,你在吃肉,如果不想让,那么不“吧嗒”嘴也是一种善良。
3. 自己有钱,如果不想捐贫救困,那么多买点福彩也是一种善良。
4. 看见人家伤心落泪,如果不想安慰,那么不幸灾乐祸也是一种善良。
5. 作为艺人,如果不能大红大紫,那么不恶心观众也是一种善良!
6. 作为富翁,如果不能仗义疏财,那么不仗势欺人也是一种善良。
7. 作为官员,如果业绩平庸,那么不贪赃枉法也是一种善良。
8. 作为导演,如果不能拍出精品,那么不拍“精神垃圾”也是一种善良。
9. 作为医生,如果不能救死扶伤,那么不昧着良心收红包也是一种善良!
10. 作为娱记,如果不能写出好新闻,那么不编花边小道也是一种善良。
11. 作为男人,如果不能封妻荫子,那么不在外面惹事生非也是一种善良。
12. 作为女人,如果不能恭俭贤淑,那么不在外面“红杏出墙”也是一种善良。

Friday, October 13, 2006

忘情水

我们的路真的走到尽头...还是这是人家所谓的"休息是为了走更远的路?

我在雨中默默的哭泣
脸上已分不清是泪还是雨
你在我心里曾不断的来来去去
到底天意如此还是你故意
想也想不到爱我是你
猜也猜不到伤我的也是你
你能不在乎但我却不能不在意
只能怪我自己为何为何爱上你
我一片痴心一往深情都为你
你却不懂得珍惜
而从今以后我是我你是你
就让我承受孤寂
这一场游戏一个悲剧不怨你
只怨我对你动真情
我不怕面对分离不是不愿回忆
是我不该爱上你



我不知道, 只是自己真的累了, 心也伤了...觉得是时候为自己争取快乐和幸福的日子. 人生说长不长, 但也不短, 快乐要过, 不快乐也要过... 不如开开心心过! 正如庾澄庆所说的"让自己high"


如果你不曾心碎你不会懂得我伤悲
当我眼中有泪别问我是为谁
就让我忘了这一切

Friday, October 6, 2006

tarot reading

i usually dont do this, but when i did this - the results were freakishly true... i underlined those parts which i think hits the bull's eye & added some of my own comments:

how you feel about yourself now (The Hanged Man)
You feel a little confused and perhaps fearful because you sense or know that there is someone or something you need to give up to be able to move on (still in a dilemma). This self-sacrifice isn’t always clear - you may not even know quite what or whom you should give up. This is a time of passage from one phase of your life to another and The Hanged Man can signify a time of spiritual development too. Perhaps you need to try and look at things from a different perspective.

what you most want at this moment (The Emperor)
The cards suggest ch3ryl, that what you most want at this time is success and achievement (yeah, would love to show what i m capable of @ work, especially since i m just being transferred to do something new, something i have never dealt with), and the support and influence of perhaps your father, husband/partner or a man of significance in your life who you believe could help.

your fears (Death)
You are afraid of experiencing turbulent and catastrophic change (yes, the decision we r talking abt in the 1st para would truly cause a turbulent & it may as well be my life's turning point), as we all are, yet challenging such transformation in our lives helps create brand new opportunities. If you are experiencing or have just experienced losing a job, a bereavement, divorce or the end of a relationship, these changes will allow brand new opportunities into your life.

what is going for you (Judgement)
Brand new potential, an opportunity which once given must not be ignored, a new project, decision or relationship that could affect the rest of your life (exactly!). You will enjoy success and enjoyment for past efforts, events will pick up a pace and the outcome will be quicker than expected.

what is going against you (The Hierophant)
You are simply struggling to conform to others expectations of you and everybody has an opinion of what you should do. Perhaps you are having a crisis of faith and are unsettled at a very spiritual level. Ask yourself who you really are? What is important to you? What makes you happy? Seek out advice or wise counsel if you wish, but accepting who you really are and going after what you want instead of what others want for you is the most important. (this is what i meant by my decision may cause a turbulent effect - as first of all, it is totally UNEXPECTED... there's a huge conflict between what i want/hope & others' expectations of me)

outcome (Wheel Of Fortune)
Expect life to change and quickly. Fate, destiny or synchronicity, call it what you like, positive change and good fortune is evident here. If you have important choices to make trust your intuition. Do you feel that events seem to be evolving without much input from you? If so trust it and go with the flow. Finally, one area to which i could only sigh & say "no comment"...



Your Astrological Court Card
Queen of Swords - Astrological Sign: Libra - Element: Air
Personality: fair, balanced, compassionate, perceptive, weighs all sides before making decisions

Most suitable vocations: lawyer, policewoman, detective, armed forces, public relations, psychologist, counsellor
Most suitable lover or partner: Knight of Wands – Aries, Leo and Sagittarius

Your Personality Court Card
Queen of Cups - Element: Water
Personality: sensitive, reflective, warm, vulnerable, loving, romantic, imaginative, talkative

Most suitable vocations: institution work, self-help organisations, poet, dancer, make-up artist, anything to do with illusion.
Most suitable lover or partner: Knight of Pentacles – Capricorn, Virgo, and Taurus

complex, complicated, confusing

LOVE
can be so complex, complicated & confusing @ times...
dare to love would mean dare to fail as well? can i pay the price? do i have the courage to fight for my own happiness? i don't want to hurt others... neither do i want to get hurt.

is happiness too much to ask for?

Wednesday, October 4, 2006

剪短发

nothing much has changed over the past week or so... except i FINALLY managed to get my long-awaited hair cut. had to take leave to do it... yeah, that's how busy i had been...

不懂从何时开始很喜欢剪头发的感觉...
每次剪发,都觉很舒服,就像放下心里的重担一样.

烦恼丝谁也剪
长到某处要割爱一次
如玩意曾在意
然而这已说到很久那阵时
烦恼丝不休止
常要剪走每次更添我睿智
形像变无限次
人大了发觉怎么剪也可以
成长的短发不断要剪
回忆中的发碎
慢慢扫出去以后才能开展
才能维持新鲜
回头一天霎眼已变动十年
长短的黑发一样要剪
曾不舍的发碎
就似将我岁月缓缓铺展
曾纯真点曾明星点
智慧要进步从未变
烦恼丝无法止
随缘放弃每次当考试
成熟了难在意
留长到了哪里剪短看天意


我总喜欢把留到长长的头发一次过剪短. 有一次, 我一口气剪了大约有一尺半长的头发. 那理发师还怕我后悔, 问了好几次才敢下剪刀. 其实, 也没什么... 只觉得剪发后整个人很轻.

这次, 我剪掉了大约有一尺长的头发. 我看要等多一年才可以再感受这种"释放"的感觉了.


我已剪短我的发
剪断了牵挂
剪一地不被爱的分岔
长长短短短短长长
一寸一寸在挣扎
剪断了惩罚
剪一地伤透我的尴尬
反反覆覆清清楚楚
一刀两断你的情话你的谎话

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

buy me a rose...

Buy Me A Rose - Kenny Rogers
He works hard to give her all he thinks she wants
A three car garage, her own credit cards
He pulls in late to wake her up with a kiss good night
If he could only read her mind, she'd say:
Buy me a rose, call me from work
Open a door for me, what would it hurt
Show me you love me by the look in your eyes
These are the little things I need the most in my life
Now the days have grown to years of feeling all alone
And she can't help but wonder what she's doing wrong
Cause lately she'd try anything to turn his head
Would it make a difference if she said:
Buy me a rose, call me from work
Open a door for me, what would it hurt
Show me you love me by the look in your eyes
These are the little things I need the most in my life


... that's how simple i am, too.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

哭 CRY

a friend once told me tears are like pearls ... so we shouldnt really waste our tears over worthless things/matters/people.
contradictory to what most people (of which, mostly men) think - women do NOT necessarily use tears as a weapon. personally to me, crying is a way of letting it all out - venting what is deep within me - relieving the heart & soul, it's like lozenge for sore throat. it helps cause i usually sleep well after a good cry. the downside is i will wake up with tired/puffy eyes the next day.
also, men who cry are NOT weak. in fact, they are the tough ones who are not afraid to express their inner inner feelings & expose the 'real' side of themselves.

people who cry are people who truly feel

只有真正懂得付出的人才懂得何为哭 为何哭
再坚强的心偶尔也会脆弱
心会痛
心也会感动
泪水要记得为真心保留
眼泪别白白地流

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

how's d view from d top?

it much depends on whether u r standing on a mountain, or a molehill. it all boils down to perception', i guess.

*****

since this is my blog, my writings, ... what u get is obviously what i see from my point of view.

*****
can everyone give me a 'hi-five!' now? yup, done all the transactions today without sending out SOS calls, (i did but only to my bankers & regional office's peers), woohoo!

all the funds are in where they are supposed to be in. & i m proud to say i have done it all, well before the cut-off time. so it's time to sit back and 'goyang kaki'. nah... i still got other work to do, like preparing for tomorrow 's tasks...not to forget, i still have an overdue report for my Director (it was due like 2 days ago, oops!).

so, have fun.

有故事的女人,有女人的故事


上星期六, 有一位朋友与我分享了一偏故事...


"...有一女孩,从小到大都没有得到过家庭幸福.她是一个很内向的女生,不曾喜欢参朋友. 每次有什么不快乐的事也收在心里.在公司,他很努力...也惹来很多"小人". 她依然自己忍痛.直到她嫁人后,她以为找到一个好归属...怎知道她还是不幸福. 无论她如何努力,甚至付出她的所有 - 到头来,也是一无所有. 为何上天对她那么不公平?.."


当初多天真的恋爱试过向往
但嫁衣不再青春
没法穿得好看
爱是最大寄望难免只得失望
根本不想工作至上做人硬朗
爱是最易去令女人死心失望
相恋分手拥抱放下例行动作
再也听不下去了...太可悲.


当天, 听完这偏故事... 外面下了很大很大的雨... 天也在哭吗?

Monday, September 18, 2006

pack your sleeping bag & canned food

ok, today is virtually over. yes, i know, it's barely 6 in the evening, but in terms of Malaysian market dealings & banking transactions are concerned - the day IS over. so far, things are under controlled. i have done, not single-handedly, but i m proud to announce i did it with minimal interference & help. *thumbs up* for myself.

yeah, yeah, yeah... it may just be a small step for mankind, but it's a GIANT leap for ch3ryl. oh, well...

tomorrow is D-Day. today is basically paper work, documentation, paper work & documentation... tomorrow is the crunch time to confirm that all documentations, all white-paper-black-writings, all forms of communication - facsimille, post, courier, email & even delivery by hand - are well...uhm, ... communcated. & the intended recipients are doing or had done what they are supposed to do - then, woohoo!!! i wouldnt need to send an SOS to my CFO (who's overseas).

so, i need another nite of good rest.

*********************************************************************************

health -wise, i seem to be better today. my ulcer is healing, my sore throat is thisclose to 'gone'... so, here's to good health!

*********************************************************************************

still missing my car. got it back briefly last week, but i sent it back to the workshop. coz the car is not working as fine as it should be, ... sigh! another week without (my own) car.

*********************************************************************************

have you installed love?

Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system.
It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. C an you turn those off ?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will override conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware.
Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you.

Tech Support: You're welcome, I'm here anytime.

--Author Unknown--

Saturday, September 16, 2006

climb d molehill, conquer d mountain

tension is building up as next week draws near.

where multi-million dollars, multi-currencies, cross countries transactions are concerned --- i m totally a toddler in d field. i can do it, i know. just that i need to stay calm. the last thing i need is to panic & freeze. hahaha!

so, my strategy is to list down the detailed tasks to be completed, & the cut-off time for each. i have got all the essential contact numbers of bankers & dealers, IT support, etc. i think i have got myself well covered. hopefully not much ad-hoc issues that arise... otherwise, i may just slip & drown... haha, nah, no worries, i can survive.

this weekend, i will try to pamper myself with loads of rest so that when i report in to work on monday, my mind is clear & fresh.

happy weekend everyone!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

down but not out

getting sick again... but i m not out yet. need to stay strong, as i will be left to fend for the whole treasury section next week. my superiors are gonna be overseas, my peer on leave... boo-hoo! there will be some major transactions going on, so i really gotta b on my toes. *cross your fingers* i need to do d job well, my CFO mentioned to me again & again 'no hiccups!'... stress, stress.

Saturday, September 9, 2006

out of action

yup, out OF action, not out IN action.

not feeling well for the last couple of days, having difficulty to sleep good.

was feverish for most of yesterday... felt slightly better @ nite, need to thank my friend who brought me to drink cucumber shake - which was good, refreshing & cooling.

woke up this morning, indecisive whether to come to work or to call in sick. at last, i still come to work. the fever seems off, just feeling a little hot & giddy.

Thursday, September 7, 2006

reviving my passion

...for photography.

i m just an amateur... mayb even less than an amateur, someone who just enjoys capturing great shots but has near-zero knowledge of low lights, apperture, focus points...etc.
whenever i come across others' photo blogs (or whatever other names u may call it) - i feel a sudden surge of inspiration & desire to do the same.
so, if you please... go drop by my photo album on this blog & tell me what you think of some of my works.
currently, my shooting partner is the Kodak DX6490. it may be outdated, non-common, low MP (just 4MP)... but i love it (especially the 10 times optical zoom), nevertheless. still, in future, i hope to be able to buy a dSLR.

used to play around with Canon EOS300, which is non-digital, but no longer can afford it! u know film & processing costs have gone up! = )

Tuesday, September 5, 2006

十字路口的我

曾經讀過一個女孩仔的BLOG,覺得她寫的每一句都可以代表我的心底話。。。真是巧合。

"我不是一個好女友
自知由始至終都是 拖泥帶水 
對你 我不敢表達
對他 我是無比的歉意
。。。
行為上是如此的忠於他
心裹我卻是如此的不忠
對他應該盡快分開會好一點
為何編編讓我認識你 喜歡上也蠢到不自知
知道後 亦以為何以說把你淡忘就淡忘呢
並以為我可以令自己慢慢的還留他
原來 我是如此一個自私的蠢女人"


我們也許可以同時愛兩個人
又被兩個人所愛
遺憾的是 ~ 我們只能跟其中一個廝守到老
覺得自己現在好像身處十字路口一樣,
進退兩難,
害怕等待,
害怕選擇,
害怕放棄,
害怕錯過,
人為何要那麼矛盾?!

流泪手心

i wanna thank Mandy for sending this lyrics to me ... really appreciate it!

流泪手心

云飘在天空
浪在海流动
这世界太多无法掌握的梦
你站在风中
你是自由的
生命有太多不得不分的痛
当你将离别握在我手心
我听见爱被悄悄捏碎的声音
你不懂你不要的我的心
会随你松开的手而喊停
我试着微笑
试着拥抱
在每一秒
我不想看见闭上的眼睛
害怕你最后化成泪流出手心
你给过的承诺
我怎能不放手
当诚实诉说他的爱多辽阔
这是我的手
它牵过你往事中度过
这段漫长的路不该走到寂寞

*fell in love with this song... the emotions it brought out will make me tear... sad song, great melody - what a paradox. maybe it's just me, i seem to be very easily touched, very emotional lately. i try to be strong, try to be tough... but yet, most times, i m weak, fragile.

just like a crystal - transparent & fragile - that's how someone i met 10+ years ago described me. am i still the same today? i guess so... well, at least to a certain extent. i m still the same. maybe a fraction less transparent, but just as fragile as before. the only difference is i m better able to hide my emotions, my fragility. it may not necesarily be a good change, coz there are times, when i realise i simply keep everything in me... up to the point, i'd feel so low & helpless that it kills...*

Monday, September 4, 2006

明年今日

若這一束吊燈傾瀉下來 或者我 已不會存在
即使你不愛 亦不需要分開
若這一刻我竟嚴重痴呆 跟本不需要被愛
永遠在床上發夢 餘生都不會再悲哀
#人總需要勇敢生存 我還是重新許願
例如學會 承受失戀
明年今日 別要再失眠 床褥都改變 如果有幸會面
或在同伴新婚的盛宴 惶惑地等待你出現
明年今日 未見你一年 誰捨得改變 離開你六十年
但願能認得出你的子女 臨別亦聽得到你講再見

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

tomorrow, at this hour...





if everything goes well, i should be at this place...










yes... i am going to Langkawi Island tomorrow, then swinging by Penang on Saturday & coming back to KL on Sunday.




so, i will disappear from the face of my beloved KL for four days. great, i truly needed this vacation, to unwind & all before i become insane ... wish me a great vacation, will you? i will be back!!! (& oh, dont miss me too much!)



& now more pics to feed my appetite (& probably yours, too)...










'Mary Says' is an old song by Lee Hom. i had been looking for the lyrics for a long time... finally, i stumbled upon it yesterday. just thought i'd post it here...

Mary Says
How long has it been since i held you near?
How long will it be till i have you right here?
You say that hurts i cant disagree
But how can i hold on to someone who's leaving me?
And mary says she's gonna be ok
She tells me things are getting busier these days
(She tells me things will be much easier someday)
And mary says she's gonna be alright
You know how much i miss her in my life
(You know how much i'm missing her deep inside)
Goodbye yesterday i see my dreams walking away
And Mary looks just like she did before
Except she dont, she dont love me anymore
I could shake your hand or I could kiss you goodbyes
But i just might break down looking in you brown eyes
So what happens next
Do i listen to my mind or heart?
I dont know where to start feeling again...


i just like the feel of the song, the feel of both the music & words... now, i m having difficulty finding the lyrics for the Chinese version of the song (流淚的手心). can anyone help?

Monday, August 28, 2006

給對愛情抱著疑問或碰壁的你/妳...

愛,是一種享受,也是一種責任。
愛,是一種權利,也是一種義務。
愛,是一種獲得,也是一種給予。
愛,是一種分享,也是一種分擔。
愛,是一種承諾,也是一種實行。
愛,是一種提昇,一種激勵,一種勇氣,一種力量 。
愛,也是一種尊重,一種信任,一種心平氣和的器度,一種優容寬廣的心胸。

愛,是愛。

Beautiful Life

this morning, a friend shared with me this song by Ace of Base ...

You can do what you want just seize the day
What youre doing tomorrows gonna
Come your way
Dont you ever consider giving up,
You will find, oooh
Its a beautiful life, oooh
Its a beautiful life, oooh
Its a beautiful life, oooh
I just wanna be here beside you
And stay until the break of dawn
Take a walk in the park when you feel down
There's so many things there
Thats gonna lift you up
See the nature in bloom a laughing child
Such a dream, oooh
Its a beautiful life, oooh...
I just wanna be here beside you
I just wanna be here beside you
And stay until the break of dawn
You're looking for somewhere to belong
You're standing all alone
For someone to guide you on your way
Now and forever
Its a beautiful life, oooh...
I just wanna be anybody
Were living in different ways
Its a beautiful life
Im gonna take you to a place Ive never been
Before o yeah
Its a beautiful life
Im gonna take you in my arms and fly away
With you tonight
Its a beautiful life, oooh...

yes, life is beautiful... if we take a moment to stop looking at our circumstances, to stop worrying, to stop rushing ... take a moment to smell the flowers, take a moment to just live life, feel life
---> life could be beautiful.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

time

How much time does one have?
How often do we say we don’t have enough time?
Each of us is given the same amount of hours daily – how do we use it?
Is our ‘yesterday’ taking up too much of our ‘today’?
Is our ‘today’ spent worrying more about ‘tomorrow’?

Perhaps it’s time to change our mindset, or at least mine-
To realize the value of ONE YEAR…ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH…ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK…ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR…ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE…ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND…ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND…ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift, that’s why it’s called … the Present!


I do admit – easier said than done. Often, I find myself struggling not to think about the past or wondering about the future. But I am learning to appreciate every moment that I have, … and when I do, I will unconsciously start to count the blessings that had been bestowed on me, my life… Then I will see yesterday’s sorrows and tomorrow’s troubles slowly vanishing before me. What matters most is the ‘NOW’, for we never know when the ‘now’ will be our last.

to the angels around me

looking back at the events spun off by the accident that happened last week, i came to realise that i m truly blessed. it takes a hard time in life for us to discover who our true friends are.
it had been a week of great inconvenience and anxiety for me. going through the motions of life brought to light the 'angels' surrounding me, of whom i may have failed to acknowledge before.

an 'angel' who was kind enough to lend me her car... even though it was just for 2 days.

an 'angel' who was kind enough to help me to check the status of my car & insurance claim, liaising with the workshop... and he is even willing to come & fetch me to the workshop.

an 'angel' who was kind enough to pick me up last nite even though she was tired and not feeling well.

an 'angel' who brought me some Chinese herbal medicine to relieve me of the after-shock - that's my Mum!!!

a little 'angel' (my niece) who showed me her care by giving me a cheer-up gift - she's only 7!
and many other 'angels' who in one way or another showed their care & concern.

...

to all the angels in my life - thank you. i m deeply touched by your every gesture of kindness and every word of care, comfort & best wishes. you made me feel i m loved! = )

If you want happiness….
For an hour - take a nap
For a day - go fishing
For a month - take a long holiday
For a year - inherit a fortune
For many years - love someone
For a lifetime - help someone

Friday, August 25, 2006

再爱一次

can we start again? can we... will you?

*so hard to express what's on my mind, what's in my heart... *(had to borrow the words of these songs to express what i feel...)

重來
曾經的妳是我全部
在朋友面前常愛提起的名字
最喜歡妳笑的樣子
彷彿一個單純快樂的孩子
如今一切歷歷在目
妳已成為我傷心的往事
那段有妳有夢的日子
我真的很想可以再開始
雖然過去都已飄逝
我仍期待重來一次
好好將所有感覺從頭收拾
再回到我和妳的昨日
我真的很想讓我和妳
回到過去重新再來 
再愛一次
我會在乎我們的故事
改寫我們的歷史
為妳輕輕擦去眼角的淚珠
真的很想讓我和妳
回到過去重新再來 
再愛一次
我會珍惜我們的最初
不想看妳為我哭
讓妳陪孤獨說不盡心事


那是你的手 
曾經輕輕安撫我眉頭
但也是它甩開了我的手

洩了氣的氣球 
兩顆心在萎縮的溫柔
你始終只低著頭 
緊握你拳頭
透過這窗口 
有人會猜我們是朋友
最普通的朋友甚至不點頭
在記憶的上游 
那是甚麼揪著我心頭
是不是你那雙 
我熟悉的手
但抱過你的手 
還能放在誰背後
你想過沒有 
我們為何會牽手
是甚麼理由 
然後 沒有然後
至不再揮揮手
那是你的手 
曾經把我捧在你胸口
但今天以後它不會再敲我門口
有一股腥紅的哀愁
緩緩的流出卡住我喉頭
你遠遠的抱著手肘 
只站在外頭
抱過你的手 
還能放在誰背後
是甚麼時候 
我們上一次牽手
但抱過你以後 
有甚麼已被沒收
你想過沒有 
我們第一次牽手
是甚麼藉口 
然後 沒有然後
甚至不再揮揮手 
分手也不需理由

only wish u'd understand. only wish u'd remember. remember how we used to be. have u forgotten? can we start again? can we ... will you?

不是我要故意對你好
只是已經付出我還能怎麼樣
難道這樣的要求也算高
是要我消失面前痛苦才不來到
不是我要故意對你好
妳可曾明白到我為何要這樣
難道真情逃不過煎熬
是你不敢要還是你根本不需要

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

喜歡是感情 愛是理智

喜歡不喜歡一個人真的祗憑感覺
不須考慮的 完全沒有壓力 沒有責任
誰還會有空去理會那是理智還是不理智
愛字太重了 那讓人想到一生一世
想及佔有与失去
想及責任与理智一大堆
說沒有理智是假的
當你明知是失去理智地去愛一個人的時候
其實你已走過理智那一關了
喜歡一個人倒是挺自在的 隨意的 任性的
感情喜歡去哪就去哪
對不同的朋友自然有不同程度的喜歡
不同程度的交往
碰上了很高興 碰不上亦沒什么
要是愛一個人
不見一天便疑雲四起
忐忑不安
好像自己為了他而存在
疏忽一點點關心就會胡思亂想
電話按個不停
這樣的愛就成了一種束博
由束博也就變成了一種負擔
愛如果成了一種負擔就變得不可愛了
不喜歡一個人亦沒有任何壓力
話不投机半句多
順不順眼祗憑感覺 不需要分析
更不需要交代
因為喜歡而愛
沒有理智地去愛
有點不喜歡便愛得不痛快了
愈來愈不喜歡便愛不下去了。
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能擁有一段美麗的記憶。。。是一種幸福。。。每個人都希望有美好的愛情, 但不是每個人都能有幸遇到, 更不是每個人都懂得去掌握同珍惜。 遇到時要全情投入,但得到什麼,不一定成比例。 結果是怎麼樣,控制不到,但不代表不希望得到好的結果。 當得不到,會不開心, 但祇給自己一個小小的限期,不可以頹廢。。。 努力過,就不會後悔。。。因為已經擁有了最好的! 順其自然,只憑感覺,相信緣份 。。。 祇要在心裡。。。相互,互動 。。。真誠 。。。 用心卻輕輕的沒有壓力 即使天涯海角,海角天涯 。。。 在心裡就好!"

Monday, August 21, 2006

crash! boom! bang!

last saturday noon, my car was hit by a 3-tonne lorry as it was reversing. the driver didnt see me (i guess it was one of the blind spots) - & he also didnt hear my horn (mayB it's time for me to change to air-horn).

thank God i m still alive. the damage to my car is at the right side, further front from the driver's door where the tyre is. i m not sure how to gauge the impact, but the headlights were ok, side signal lights were ok, the side mirror was ok, just the side & the tyre - .... that was quite bad. since the lorry was practically huge & long, no damage was sighted on his vehicle.
i told the driver when i got down, even if i m dead inside my car, his lorry would still see no damage at all. i was just furious. i still cant really accept that it happened (even now, 2 days after the incident).

my friend commented that i should have just abandoned my car then... but that did not cross my mind at all at that time. i love my car a lot, & the feeling just sucks right now. guess, the only way to console myself is that i m unhurt...well, at least not physically.

now, my car is in the workshop, & it's highly inconvenient for me to commute to/fro work without my own car, i may just move & stay over at my mum's place for the next few days.

to my dearest family & friends ---> sorry to make u people worried - i m ok, just still feeling kinda in the dumps at the time being. now the next thing is hopefully i can get my car back real soon.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

a tough nut makes better peanut butter

what about the title? - u asked. i dont know, just saw this saying somewhere & it kinda stuck to me. seems like a profound thought... dont u think?

oh, well. am going through some rather trying challenging moments. when i was in secondary school, my principal used to tell us - when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. surely the saying is true, the concept works well, even sounds oh-so-perfect. but this is not a perfect world - neither do i think i m tough.

i get so weary, facing life's battles. there are days when i just wish i can close my eyes & blink all my troubles away. it wont work, else i wont be sitting here writing this.

does a tough nut really make better peanut butter? i hope so...

i know this is short, but life is moving fast & i aint got enough time, so can just afford a quickie.

grapes u cant eat...

are always sour?

armed with all the willpower & EQ i have - i m trying to prevent myself from metamorphing into a continuous rants-generating person. still have yet to discover the secret to living a life of contentment (of course, it's just a thin line between contentment & complacent). i dont want to become someone who constantly complain, crying injustice all the time & make my own life miserable. pathetic, aint it?

the rich will become richer, the gap seprating the economy of the rich & poor are getting wider & wider. sometimes, hard work alone is not enough to narrow down the difference, lest bridge the gap. useless. more often than not, we dont see the fruits of our labour... well, maybe not soon enough.

***********************************************************************************
oh, well... what to do?

i guess the solution is i just gotta resolve not to let daily circumstances & my surrounding influence my happiness - now, i just need that extra bit of strength & willpower to realise my resolution. just stop thinking whether it's worth it, just stop thinking when i am reaping the fruits of my hard work, just stop thinking whether/when my love gets returned, just stop thinking & JUST DO IT.

hopefully, then, i will be a happier person.

cheers

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

in my daughter's eyes...

this song was playing on d radio, while i was on my way to work.

Song by Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero

I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes
I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

i wish this is the song that plays in the heart of every mother. most of all, this same song will play in my mother's heart, too.

from young, i have always felt my mother has very high expectations of me, too high in fact. who can forget the time i got beaten so badly until i bled, when i was in Standard 2? reason being i was placed no. 13 in class for the final exams.

my mother gave me a lot of pressure when i was in school. i can only get the top 3 places, no argument on that. so, in my primary years, i always got the top place, save for that 2 years - when i got the 13th placing and the other time when i got 4th placing (didnt get a beating that time coz i just missed d mark slightly).

when i look back, i can understand why my mother has so high standards. i m the youngest at home. my elder siblings didnt do too well in their studies, & i was the only hope left.

as i grew older, i finally pickep up the courage to talk to my mother. as i stepped into secondary school, i told begged my mother to give me a chance to do it my own way. i have proven that i m serious w my studies. & to me, the most important thing is i have given my best shot.

so, i was free.

nowadays, when my mother & i have our little conversations & catching up sessions. i'd remind her of how she strict she used to be, how she beat me when i didnt get a good placing... i guess i do make her proud ultimately. nope, i did not get place in Uni, but i do at least hold a professional degree, a stable job, i dont do drugs or anything illegal (ok, ... excluding buying pirated CDs & DVDs).

over the years, especially when i was old enough to think & understand, & especially during the year my father had to fight the battle with cancer - i could finally see how strong my mother was. yes, she has her weak moments. she has gone through a tough childhood, a tough marriage, ... yet, she did not give up.

i do cherish my mother, & i do hope i can spend more time with her, which i currently fail to. one day, someday... when i become a mother myself, i want my daughter (& son) to be just as proud to have me as a mother, just like i am proud of my own.

Tuesday, August 1, 2006

Bad Day

this song by Daniel Powter seems oh-so-appropriate right now...


Where is the moment we needed the most

You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

They tell me your blue skies fade to gray

They tell me your passion's gone away

And I don't need no carryin' on


You stand in the line just to hit a new low

You're faking a smile with the coffee you go

You tell me your life's been way off line

You're falling to pieces every time

And I don't need no carryin' on


Because you had a bad day

You're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know

You tell me don't lie

You work at a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day

The camera don't lie

You're coming back down and you really don't mind

You had a bad day

You had a bad day


Will you need a blue sky holiday?

The point is they laugh at what you say

And I don't need no carryin' on


You had a bad day

You're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around


Sometimes the system goes on the blink

And the whole thing turns out wrong

You might not make it back and you know

That you could be well oh that strong

And I'm not wrong


of course, life always has d ups & downs. so 2day is a bad day. but tomorrow will be better! (yes, gotta keep the fighting spirit)


down not out!


mayb i shd go shopping, since the mega sales is on. yeah, retail therapy is d way 2 cure d soul, ... no worry, i shall only use cash, considering i still have loads of credit card bills to clear.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

a saturday morning @ work

my Director came to town since Thursday,... usually when he is around, one can easily sense his presence (he is mostly not in KL, say 95% of the time). the air will somehow be different, u can just feel the tension mounting, breathe the anxiety emitted by my fellow colleagues...

i was called in to his office today, & as we stood there, leaning against the window pane (dont ask me why we didnt sit down & discuss - coz i also dont know - probably he just felt like it) going through some of the major deals the Company is in the midst of negotiating & studying some agreements... i felt just so small. intimidated. inferior. insecure. it again highlights the point of how little i know.

he is a knowledgeable man. he was the one who "offered" me the opportunity to do something different, from what i have been doing these 4 years with this Company. yet, this change of job portfolio sparked off a lot of "fireworks" in the office. some senior people got offended, feeling that i have jumped the queue. others felt with the change, i have messed up the whole system of how the department is being run.

well there was no increment or promotion on my part, something which i dont expect as well. mainly bcoz i m doing something totally new to me, i m just an amateur. but i was/am forced to learn fast. no time for me to begin from zero, i have to start at 100mph.

so, back to this morning's session with my Director. often i found i could just tell him a one-worded answer "Yes" or at most three "I dont know". sigh!

& also, often i find myself caught in between him & my CFO. both are big shots in the Company, both are more senior, but both have different views & styles. ahhh! the joy of office politics...

p/s: oh, did i forget to mention that my Director is still a bachelor at 50? single, available, filthy rich... an australian-born-chinese. hmmm.... no wonder each time i stepped out of his room i could just hear the 'gossips' going around the grapevines, especially when people know he wants me to go work with him in Jakarta (which i have declined politely three times to-date)

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Double Ds - Dad & durians

it's a wonder how a simple act of eating durians could bring back so much memories...

when i was very young, i hated durians. my family loved the fruit, in fact everyone around seems to go ga-ga over that prickly fruit. i simply don't & won't understand what they love about durians.

everytime Dad brought back durians, i would hide in the corner. i just did not want anything to do with it, no, thanks. they would all gather around, usually squatting on the floor, watching Dad or Mum open up that 'special' treat with a screwdriver or a blunt knife. everyone seems so eager, so excited. my brother and sister would act like they havent eaten for days! they dug right in... everybody, except me.
when they tried to tempt or coax me... i'd simply pout and clamp my mouth shut. eww! no way, i m gonna eat it! if they force me - i'd just cry.

somehow, one day, i had one try... & had never looked back ever since. my Dad would say i have a "talent" of eating durians, to the extent he started to nickname me "Squirrel". squirrels love durians, they always manage to get the best fruits! u know, chunky yellow flesh, neither too dry or too wet, with oh-so-small seeds (& i guess, i still do have this gift intact after all these years). just the thought of it makes me salivate! yes, i m the "Squirrel" in the house.

it has been a while now... 10 years... no, more than that, maybe 20.

& last week, when we stopped to buy some durians at a roadside stall, the memories came back. tears welled up in my eyes, & again i relived the memories of my childhood, the memories of my Dad. i didnt care i was out on the street, my tears just came...


Dad, i miss u...