Wednesday, August 2, 2006

in my daughter's eyes...

this song was playing on d radio, while i was on my way to work.

Song by Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero

I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes
I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

i wish this is the song that plays in the heart of every mother. most of all, this same song will play in my mother's heart, too.

from young, i have always felt my mother has very high expectations of me, too high in fact. who can forget the time i got beaten so badly until i bled, when i was in Standard 2? reason being i was placed no. 13 in class for the final exams.

my mother gave me a lot of pressure when i was in school. i can only get the top 3 places, no argument on that. so, in my primary years, i always got the top place, save for that 2 years - when i got the 13th placing and the other time when i got 4th placing (didnt get a beating that time coz i just missed d mark slightly).

when i look back, i can understand why my mother has so high standards. i m the youngest at home. my elder siblings didnt do too well in their studies, & i was the only hope left.

as i grew older, i finally pickep up the courage to talk to my mother. as i stepped into secondary school, i told begged my mother to give me a chance to do it my own way. i have proven that i m serious w my studies. & to me, the most important thing is i have given my best shot.

so, i was free.

nowadays, when my mother & i have our little conversations & catching up sessions. i'd remind her of how she strict she used to be, how she beat me when i didnt get a good placing... i guess i do make her proud ultimately. nope, i did not get place in Uni, but i do at least hold a professional degree, a stable job, i dont do drugs or anything illegal (ok, ... excluding buying pirated CDs & DVDs).

over the years, especially when i was old enough to think & understand, & especially during the year my father had to fight the battle with cancer - i could finally see how strong my mother was. yes, she has her weak moments. she has gone through a tough childhood, a tough marriage, ... yet, she did not give up.

i do cherish my mother, & i do hope i can spend more time with her, which i currently fail to. one day, someday... when i become a mother myself, i want my daughter (& son) to be just as proud to have me as a mother, just like i am proud of my own.

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