Thursday, April 30, 2009

也許我才是你生命中的過客

你和我面对面卻有一颗心的距离

也许我只是你短暂寂寞的依靠

因为你的心总在别人身上停靠



該來的遲早會來

該走的遲早會走

要走的,苦苦哀求也不會停步

要留的,大罵大鬧也不會爬走



也許我才是你生命中的過客。。。

Thursday, April 23, 2009

thisclose to throw in the towel


today at work - i was thisclose to throw in the towel. i felt so frustrated and so intimidated... that i almost can't control my tears. in fact one of my colleagues actually saw me blinking my tears away.

i may not be the smartest employee, or the most hardworking, or the most capable. but today my boss really made me feel so so so stupid.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

I dreamed a dream

Middle-aged, dowdy, with thick eyebrows and an unfortunate gait, she couldn’t have looked less like a star. She may be the surprise winner of Britain’s Got Talent after she stunned Simon Cowell with her remarkable voice.
Unemployed and single, the 47-year-old has thick, unkempt hair and bushy eyebrows, and downy fuzz is noticeable across parts of her face.


Who is this we are talking about? If you don't already know by now - she's SUSAN BOYLE.

Miss Boyle told presenters Ant and Dec that she lived alone with just her cat Pebbles for company. She said: ‘I’ve never been married. I’ve never even been kissed.’She then stomped across the stage and began clumsily gyrating her hips towards the judges, prompting laughter from the audience.

A smirking Cowell asked her who she would like to emulate, to which she replied, ‘Elaine Paige.’‘I would love to be in musical theatre. I have just never had the opportunity,’ she added.






Moments later, the music mogul and fellow judges Amanda Holden and Piers Morgan were left speechless by her powerful rendition of ‘I Dreamed A Dream’ from Les Miserables. The audience gave her a deserving standing ovation and cheered as she finished the song.

Such a corresponding song chosen and sung:

"I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed"

Susan mentioned about her dream, and people just smirked and sneered. Her dream had not been realised prior to her Britain's Got Talent victory - because she wasn't given the opportunity.

People loved her because she's like so many of us (& probably because some of us laughed at her in the first place and feel guilty thereafter!).

So many of us dreamed a dream ... but life had killed our dreams. Trying to survive in this world, trying not to lag behind in the rat race, trying to match up to our neighbours... had all killed the flame of our dream.

I remember having this conversation with my sister few months ago. I asked her, "If you could do anything you like, without any hindrance, you know, like having to take care of your kids, no money, etc - what would your dream be?"

Too often we live to please others, we do and do and do and do, trying so hard to achieve what is success in other people's eyes to gain acceptance. We have forgotten to be ourselves. Fundamentally, like I have mentioned before - we are called human beings, and not human doings.

As for Susan, I do sincerely hope she will realise her dream.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Remembering you... always


Last week, my MSN Messenger status was set as "老豆,好掛住您!" and my Facebook status was "Cheryl Liew missed my late dad...老豆,好掛住您!"...


It had been years since he left us... and so many times, when I thought of him, tears well up in my eyes.

Was actually casually talking with a friend about 'beer belly' and *snap* I am again reminded of him. I remember how I used to listen to the 'grumbling' sounds his belly makes, when he's at home taking his afternoon nap. My late Dad had a 40-inch beer belly! I can still somehow feel how comfortable it was to just put my ears on his belly and listen to the 'music'.

And when I heard this song, tears start to blind my vision.












成就
超速工作 標準情人 也似確保不到我身份 


試過升高又淪陷來回無限次又捉不緊 



只得你的一句 漸成為明日校訓


即使沒成就 事業未算擁有 


我在你那眼中仍似個寶寶多麼罕有


我感激你告知 我是你的成就 


當哭得太久 樣樣自責不夠


你是個每一天仍替我加油的小宇宙 


生於這個地球或間中會有一點傷口 你一早望透


幾多工作 幾多責任 你也不需身旁人擔心 


是否真的沒遺憾然而誰像你 


義氣過人 只知每位親朋 亦鳴謝你留烙印


爸爸的心血 身體中遺留 


祈求延續你成就沿路愉快演奏


即使不算優秀 獎盃我沒有 


我在你那眼中仍似個寶寶多麼罕有


跌倒不用怕羞 似是我小時候


當哭得太久 樣樣自責不夠


你是個每一天重建我身份的小宇宙 


生於這個地球就算一剎找不到出口 你珍惜便夠


My late Dad was a man with few words... but I can remember every gesture, every word that he has spoken to me.

We may not be all lovey-dovey (if I may use that expression describing a father-daughter relationship) - but I know he loved me a lot, if not the most; amongst my siblings.

We can be so comfortable with each other that we don't need to utter a word for hours, in each other's company.

Yes, he was just a cab driver. No grand achievements. No leaving me a fortune as inheritance. Not even the finances to get me through my tertiary education. But he's the best father I ever had. He gave me the best he could.

He never discouraged me in anything I dabbled on. Of course, I was not involved with any illegal stuffs. He never hit me before (My mum takes the disciplanarian role!). He never even raised his voice at me. He never complained when I needed him to send me to college or pick me up from college after my night classes. He just never stopped loving me.

I am so missing him... but I do believe he is in a better place now. And because of that, I am happy that he is happy.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

心亂如麻

借著衛蘭首歌 (林夕填詞),亦都延續上一個有關沉重的愛情嘅blog post。。。




因初吻著你想慶賀 你卻開始疏遠我

假使你是覺得怯懦 你會不會拒絕我

你有意欲去找我 你會通電再會過

如實在認真喜歡我 或是有心敷衍我 如今只有三歲都清楚


是你不想我啦嗎 什至不找我啦 

無非幾天變化 就像刮我幾千巴 

難道你共我親吻抱擁之後竟有偏差 

不想和我好 請求直說真話


很想你是愛得懶惰 至會多天不理我

心境正逐秒鐘跌墮 我哪一樣有做錯

過去你極愛惜我 快慰之後侮辱我

曾自問自私開心過 自問自卑擔心過 如今的我只要知清楚


。。。


唔知到底你發生左咩事, 有d擔心。。。卻又咩都做唔到。 心里又會亂念,念d你叫過我唔好念嘅嘢。對唔住,我辦唔到。。。鬼叫你‘失中’咁多日咩! online又唔見人,電話又無聽。。。


好掛住,好想翻到果一刻。。。


好想,好想。。。
P/S 后記: 其實擔心佢有事超于‘我地’有事。 呢份擔心係出自一份真心嘅關心。希望佢一切順利。