Friday, July 18, 2008
yesterday, i was shocked - i didn't realise i gave some people the impression that i m a player. it shocked me, it saddens me, it jolted me awake & made me rethink & reflect.
why would someone who don't know me well had that impression? could it be something wrong with the way i carry & present myself? hmm...
extract of the conversation i had with the guy yesterday via MSN:
him: busy dating?
him: why not?
ch3ryl: no bf, so no paktoh la.
ch3ryl: any good guys to intro?
ch3ryl: huh? u do have a gf, right?
him: yes. i don't mind, if you don't.
ch3ryl: i mind. what makes you think i m a player?
him: you sound like you are bored of playing.
ch3ryl: well, you don't know me well.
him: you got played out before?
ch3ryl: you know my story right? (proceeded to tell my history...)
the point is i don't know how in the world he had that impression. i knew him, through a friend. & we have probably met twice over mamak...the last being at least 6 months or more ago.
maybe i shouldn't be bothered but i m just concerned. i don't want going around giving people the wrong impression without even realising it. yes, i agree - i m a very self concious person, very concerned abt what people will think of me; even though i appear to be i couldn't care less.
so i asked another friend about this.
he said i just have to be more careful dealing with guys. some guys will find any opportunity to play with my emotions & guys being guys, most will have ulterior motives.
well, i agree. all the while, i thought i m pretty protective and know how to defend for myself. i m strong. & tough. but perhaps not. i m also vulnerable at times. & i m naive in the sense that i don't usually doubt people's sincerity.
note to self: the world is not as simple & straightforward as you think so 好自为之！